“You can feel it the second they walk in—the shift in the room, the sudden politeness, the careful phrasing. Retrospectives are supposed to be a safe space for teams to talk honestly about what’s working and what’s not. But when “The Boss” joins the meeting, that safety evaporates. I’ve seen it time and again: teams go quiet, feedback turns vague, and nothing meaningful changes. If we want retros to actually help teams grow, we need to talk about the silent sabotage of psychological safety—and why managers might need to step out for things to move forward.”

“I’m great at racing games. So naturally, I figured I could sneak onto a real track, steal a car, and absolutely crush it. I crashed. I died. (Okay, not really, but you get the idea.)

We all understand that practicing in a simulation doesn’t prepare you for the real thing. So why do we keep pretending that leadership, feedback, and high-stakes conversations can be mastered by watching a training video? You don’t become a skilled communicator by learning acronyms or watching someone else role-play discomfort. You get better by doing—by messing up in a safe environment, learning from it, and doing it again.”

This post explores why passive learning isn’t enough for communication skills, and what real practice looks like when the stakes are human.